To preface this entry, I'll use my current favourite internet meme. That being:

what is this i dont even

Having said that, we received an application at work today for a position in the Frankston store we're opening up. The applicant had included a cover letter of such astounding mediocrity that I felt compelled to share it.

"hi there,

my name is ******* and the reason for my e-mail is to apply for the Frankston store position,
i have a fairly good understanding for apple products as i own a mac (desktop) an i phone and 2 i pods (one touch and one is a nano)

i think that i would be great for the position as i love to interact with others and share my knowlage. i am extreamly helpfull and also super friendly.
as my resume states i was working for a marketing company in the city. i specialised in door to door sales (cold calling) so i have got sales expirience.
At the moment i am working for staff Australia doing on call casual possitions of all types, so therfore am not choosey of the kind of duties i am doing.

I Think working at ******** would be a great oppatunaty for me as i beleve it would be the kind of work i enjoy doing.
im avalible to work from mon - sun also.

please consider me for an interveiw if not a possition at ********.
thank you very much for your time and i look foward to hearing from you shortly,

regards,"

That's unedited. I'm having trouble deciding which part is my favourite. I've narrowed it down to 'extreamly helpfull' or the stellar misspelling of 'oppatunaty'. I mean, the spell-checker in whatever program this guy is using would have not only hat a fit and shat itself when he typed it in, but probably didn't bother alerting him to the errors because the computer decided that no one could be that dumb.

He might as well have sent this instead:

"gday cunts

saw youse have got a job at the franga store and i reckon im the best person for youse to hire cos i once stole a car from some cunts place outside langwarrin and sold it to a junkie in portsea and that makes me qaulife, kwolif, qafilie, the best at sales

call me this afternoon or dont bother

ill be at your mums house lol"