There aren't enough awards, or awards ceremonies
in life. The actors get their little statues, the war veterans get their
medals, and hopelessly non-athletic children get special ribbons for
coming eighth in a race, because children suck. But for your everyday,
middle-of-the-road, apathetic fuckwit, awards are few and far between,
so I've decided to give random people the coveted 'YOU STUPID ASSHOLE'
award, whenever I think someone deserves it.
The
first recipient of this most prestigious award goes to the fucking
clown who annoyed me this morning, while I was on my way to work. As the
train pulled into the station, myself and about 20 other commuters made
ready to disembark. The doors opened, and lo and behold, there's a some
trained monkey in a suit, making his way onto the train as we're all
trying to get off it. Obviously, the train was going to leave before he
had a chance to get on it, so he forces his way through the people
trying to get off, shoving me sideways in his attempt.
The
woman to my right actually stumbled and fell as this guy muscled
through, and it was only with the quick reactions of some hairy dude
that she didn't fall over/backwards/into another person/underneath the
fucking train.
Congratulations buddy, you must have accrued negative karma equal to being hit in the face with a spade. YOU STUPID ASSHOLE.
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